From my past situations

Down to my expectations

The life of stress was always mine

From 2009

I drank alcohol when I used to have problems

Damn, how it was a stupid way to solve them

I lived in fear through my education

I sunk into peer pressure and I lost my concentration

I’ve been in fights cos of my pride

Started in high school thinking it was a normal lifestyle

I used to handle a life of depression

By always asking, ‘Hey Toko, you down for a session?’

To smoke weed, oh yes please

Anything to get rid of this misery

I was a dead man walking

I could feel the devil, he be creeping and he be stalking

He follows me everywhere I go

And it’s kinda convincing once he starts to to show

God saved me

God. Saved. Me?

I’m a sinner, just like you

Heck, I didn’t even have time to read the Bible

I thought that my soul had no revival

So I kept it in the dark, thinking that was my survival

But believe this, I’m slowly changing

Judging by my peers, the addiction is slowly fading

Cos yes! I drink booze and I smoke weed

But that’s just the me that you see

It didn’t matter how far I’d gone in the wrong direction

I just turned around and repented then he forgave all my past actions

God’s pulling me out of that misery

So, as of now, I’m this good guy that people say it’s hard to believe

Our Paths

So I recently had my first life experience where something completely unexpected happened. Once I finish the course I am currently studying, I was planning on doing more studies, but it turns out that I now have to find something else to do for the rest of my year - so far I’ve applied for seven different jobs and haven’t heard a single word back from any of them.

I am one of those people that believes that your course in life isn’t predetermined by God, but I sometimes wonder, if God had more of an influence on my life, would it be easier or even more stressful? I believe that God has an influence in some of your choices, but ultimately only you can make the choice; God just sets the outline of the many paths you can take.

I also wonder if God watches down eating popcorn, watching my life like an interactive movie, putting new people in my life and new experiences, and how many times he must get annoyed when I don’t choose the best path for myself.

Now that I am approaching the end of my studies, I have been getting more assignments to do. So far, I am passing my course with B's, which I’m happy with. For the first time in my life of studying though, I finally got a blood nose from all the stress that was building up.

But, thankfully, I have completed one of my assignments, almost finished my 1200 word essay and also almost finished my 5 final paintings that are due this Friday. So I’m actually surprising myself by having enough time to do this blog, but for you peeps that read these blogs, I’m more than happy to do it.